Energy Vampires: The Controller

Have you ever been around someone who obsessively tried to control and dictate everything they thought you were supposed to be, do, have, and feel? 

These energy vampires have an opinion about everything and try to control you by invalidating your emotions especially if those emotions don’t fit into their rulebook.

They often start sentences with “You know what you need?” and then proceed to tell you. 

This ends up making you feel stuck, demeaned, and put down. 

We’re talking about the type of Energy Vampire called The Controller. This type of energy vampire can chip away at your self-worth and this can lead to depression and other physical symptoms.

Here are a few signs to watch out for: 

  • They flatter you and shower you with gifts until you feel you owe them and have to be nice and return.
  • Then... they gradually increase the pressure until they're not nice at all (and you're still being nice)
  • ...
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Energy Vampires: The Victim

We're diving deep and discussing what types of energy vampires can slowly drain the energy out of our daily energy “bank account” I thought I’d give you a sneak peek.

Last week, I talked about the Space Invader Energy Vampire. If you missed it, I also created a blog post about it here: 

https://www.rachelkhudson.com/blog/energy-vampires-the-space-invader?cid=3a7b4125-666d-41a3-bc0b-aef229ebef9c

Here's an interesting type of energy vampire that I think everyone has in common. The Victim. Yes - I know, we’ve all unintentionally settled into the victim mentality every now and then but we don’t want to live there. 

I’m talking about the type of Energy Vampire Victim who is living in their “victimhood”. 

As empaths, these energy vampires can really drain our energy and leave us feeling like we've absorbed all of their problems. We walk away feeling heavy, frustrated, and wondering what just happened to make us feel...

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Energy Vampires - The Space Invader

During the month of October, I'm adding to my Empath Collective library. This is one of the biggest projects I’ve taken on throughout the whole time my Empath Collective has been together. 

I’ve been working on this project for several months. It’s on the topic of Energy Vampires. ‍ 

I’ve been hesitant to cover this topic for a few reasons: 

  1. I'm really careful about the energy surrounding each topic. If it's too negative, it might bring people down.
  2. I'm also careful around labels because labels can stick and I believe that people really can change.

If you think you might have an energy vampire in your life, you’ll definitely want to keep reading and you might even want to join our Empath Collective

First things first... You've probably noticed that I frequently talk about energy fields. Yes, we all have this energetic border around us that determines our comfort level. This is also known as personal space

...

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Lower your stress level

Bringing down your stress level is easier than you think. Simplicity is the key that will keep you coming back to that still point that rests within: 
  1. Take a deep breath in
  2. On the exhale, relax your jaw
  3. Take a deep breath in
  4. Exhale and relax your forehead
  5. Take a deep breath in
  6. Exhale and relax your shoulders 
  7. Repeat

The only difficult part is actually remembering to use your stress-busting tools. You can set a reminder for a certain time of day or several times a day like once per hour. 

You can be mindful to do this each time you walk through a doorway, when you're on a walk, or when you wash your hands. These habits can really add up to decreasing your stress level and blood pressure. 

 

If you're ready to learn more,  check out my free guided meditation library

 

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Practicing Acceptance

We live in a time where self-discovery is on the rise. Although being an empath is not the norm, some people still debate whether or not being an empath is real.
 
Letting people be who they are is a sign of respect. And being (or feeling) judged feels terrible. Imagine what kind of relationship you would have with family members or friends if you felt supported. That your strengths as an empath were appreciated instead of being seen as a weakness.
 
In my Empath Collective, I make sure that empaths feel empowered and have the tools to thrive. Oftentimes it seems like a bit of work, but the process of self-discovery is incredibly rewarding.
 
Believe in yourself. Focus on your gifts rather than your perceived shortcomings and acceptance of yourself and others will blossom.
 
 
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Digital Detox

 

A few weeks ago our Empath Support Community had some fun with Empath Self-Care Bingo. We tried about 20+ different self-care activities with the idea that at least one activity would resonate with us.

 
I told myself I'd try everything on the bingo card and I finally made it to the "digital detox" square on the bingo card.
 
At the time, I was feeling really burned out on anything digital. Phone, laptop, Zoom, TV, social media, and even podcasts. It felt overwhelming. But... I kept going because I connect with clients primarily through all things digital.
 
But, I tried it. Then I stepped away from it for **gasp** more than 24 hours and it just felt right. It ended up being about a week.
 
I felt a little guilty at the time but I knew deep down that this was what I needed in order to sustain my mental energy.
 
This is SO important! Especially for Empaths. I took a dose of my own medicine, so to speak. It was fabulous. I scaled down on...
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Do you get exhausted easily? Why you should listen to your fatigue.

 

Empaths experience our share of fatigue.

Fatigue is the first sign of overwhelm and overwhelm leads to exhaustion, anxiety, depression, adrenal fatigue, and sensory overload. 

 

But, we keep on working. We all have todo lists, priorities, projects, and commitments. We keep working, thinking that we can dig ourselves out of this chaos by more work. 

 

Why do we do this? 

 

Society says, “tough it out”. Society rewards this behavior. 

We celebrate overachievers who ignore their body signals. 

 

This is incredibly harmful to HSP and Empaths. 

We need ample downtime, quiet, and rest to thrive. 

 

CONSIDER THIS: 

Fatigue is your voice of wisdom. It’s your body and your energy level telling you something. This is called listening to your body! 

 

Take one compassionate action (baby step) for yourself. 

  • Electronics OFF for 15 minutes 
  • Meditate - this will help you get quality sleep
  • This...
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Ways to balance your gifts with responsibility

When you're first discovering that you're an empath, it can be a little exciting, a little scary, and a bit intimidating.

You'll probably go down the rabbit hole researching (like I did).

What I've found is that the information is there, but we sometimes don't understand how to use our gifts or balance all of this information with responsibility. I've seen everything from breaking out of old patterns to using the information of being an empath as a license to drop further into victimhood and isolation.

  1. If you have questions about what to do with all of this info, I have a few tips for you.
  2. Start with a meditation practice. Meditation is the #1 best tool for empaths. Trust me on this.
  3. Find a grounding practice. Many empaths are earth empaths so getting outside for a nice walk will help you stay grounded.
  4. Journal. Journal about conflict, decision making, coincidences, and intuitive hits. You can find a lot of answers when you get still and start writing.
  5. Explore other healing and...
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The Benefits of Daydreaming

Did you know that there are benefits to daydreaming?

Did you know that daydreamers have higher levels of empathy? 

Some of my clients express frustration with daydreaming. Why? Many of us have been told it’s associated with being lazy.  I mean, since when did daydreaming become a bad thing?

You see, empaths daydream a LOT. Once I started reminding my clients of the benefits of daydreaming, they started feeling empowered. 

Want to know some of the benefits of daydreaming? 

  • Enhanced memory 
  • A higher level of empathy allows you to explore different scenarios from other people’s perspectives. In other words, it helps you put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
  • Increased creativity
  • “Problem-solving incubation” - basically, daydreaming gives your mind downtime when you’re trying to solve a problem. 

A few examples of enhanced daydreaming would be meditating, practicing yoga, or during a shower. Ever notice how great ideas...

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Self Care for Sensitive People

Self Care for Sensitive People

Many of us love the holidays and look forward to spending time with loved ones, watching movies, and making your favorite meal. This time of year can also be very stressful and especially challenging for empaths and highly sensitive people. We tend to absorb the stressful energy of others.

Here are my 5 Self Care Tips for Empaths - The Holiday Edition

1. Enjoy the lightness of the Holiday Cheer. Use your senses to make the most of the holiday season. The smell of cinnamon, the sight of the beautiful decorations, and the sound of music that makes the season so special.

2. Overwhelmed by Crowds? This is a great time to look at your options here. You might find a time that is less crowded or you can be mindful not to go into crowded situations unless you feel centered and ready. Online shopping is one of my favorites.

3. Stillness - Excessive noise and activity can be overstimulating. Plan still, nonverbal times to allow yourself to recover from noise and...

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